Wendy Rollin

A Journey from Tragedy to Triumph

By Stephen Ongo

Stephen and Claudia Ongo celebrated their 14th wedding anniversary on July 28, 2026.

I am Stephen Ongo, and I have been a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ for more than 40 years. For many years, our life together felt steady and familiar. My wife, Susan, and I had been married for 25 years, and together we were raising our two children, our son Grant and our daughter Talitha.

Then March 31, 2011, arrived—a day that will forever be etched in my memory.

My entire life was turned upside down and would never be the same again. What began as a seemingly harmless cold sore developed into something far more serious. Following the hospital visit, Susan suffered a seizure in our bed at home and passed away.

She was only 52 years old, and I was 53.

Our son, Grant, was away at university, and our daughter, Talitha, who was 19, was still living at home. Calling my son to tell him that his mother had died while he was in the middle of his final exams was the most difficult phone call of my life. I can still hear his cries on the other end of the line.

When Shock Gave Way to Grief

For two weeks, I lived in shock. Hundreds of people embraced us and offered their condolences, saying, “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

Their words seemed as though they were meant for someone else because I could hardly feel anything.

I now understand that period of shock as God’s protective covering until I was ready to face the crushing reality of losing the love of my life.

When the shock began to wear off, my daughter and I entered eight months of overwhelming grief. It was emotionally exhausting and deeply painful. At one point, I even became angry with God.

“Lord, I have served You all these years,” I said. “Is this what I get?”

The pain became so intense that I simply wanted to join my wife. Life without the woman who had walked beside me for 25 years seemed unimaginable. I no longer knew who I was without her.

Scripture tells us that a husband and wife become one, and it felt as though half of me had been torn away.

One evening, my daughter asked, “Dad, when will this pain ever end?”

I had no answer.

That night, I wept before the Lord.

“Lord, I don’t understand anything right now,” I cried, “but I know You are close to the brokenhearted—and that is me. I need You now.”

The Dream I Never Forgot

That night, I experienced a dream I have never forgotten. I call it my “God dream.”

In the dream, the Lord showed me a snake wrapped around my grief. I sensed Him saying to me:

“That is the spirit of heaviness. It is trying to squeeze the life out of you. It has wrapped itself around your grief so that you cannot tell the difference.”

Then the Lord brought Isaiah 53:4 to my attention:

“Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering.”
—Isaiah 53:4 NIV

In the dream, I asked, “Lord, if You bore my pain, why am I still carrying it?”

Then the dream ended.

When I awoke the following morning, something had changed. The unbearable pain was gone.

I was free.

I felt like Scrooge awakening on Christmas morning, overflowing with joy. I ran downstairs and told my daughter, “I’m free!”

She looked at me and asked, “Have you forgotten Mom already?”

“No,” I answered. “I will never forget your mother. But the pain is no longer attached to her memory.”

Grief and the Spirit of Heaviness

Grief is deeply personal. It is a natural, God-given response to loss, and it does not follow a fixed timetable.

In my own experience, however, I came to believe that something had attached itself to my grief and was drawing me into profound hopelessness and thoughts of death. I understood this as the “spirit of heaviness” described in Isaiah 61:3:

“To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.”
—Isaiah 61:3 NKJV

I believe it had disguised itself within my grief and was attempting to choke the life out of me.

This is what I personally believe God revealed to me during that season. Other people may experience grief differently, but that dream marked a turning point in my life.

Over the years, I have shared this testimony with many people. Some have told me that it helped them recognize the difference between mourning someone they loved and becoming trapped in a darkness that prevented them from moving toward healing.

Scripture reminds us:

“Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning.”
—Psalm 30:5 NKJV

When Joy Returned

About five months after that experience, God brought new joy into my life through Claudia.

Claudia had experienced tragedy herself after losing an older brother in a house fire. She understood the depths of grief. When God brought us together, joy began returning to my life.

On July 28, 2026, Claudia and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary.

About two years into our marriage, God led me on another journey—a desire to understand more fully what had happened to me spiritually.

As a minister, I immersed myself in Scripture and became captivated by two small but life-changing words:

In Christ.

The Apostle Paul repeatedly uses those words throughout his letters to describe the believer’s identity, position, and new life through Jesus. I spent more than a year studying their meaning in depth.

What I discovered transformed my understanding of who I was and eventually shaped the books, Bible studies, sermon materials, and audiobooks I would go on to create.

There is far more than I can share in a single article. Yet the message at the heart of it all remains simple:

Jesus met me in the darkest season of my life.

He did not ask me to forget Susan. He did not erase the love we shared or the memories we created. Instead, He helped separate those precious memories from the crushing darkness that had surrounded them.

I pray this testimony has encouraged you. Should my story bring hope to you or someone you love, that would be my greatest reward.

About the Author

Stephen Ongo has served as a minister of the Gospel for more than 40 years. His personal journey through grief, healing, and a deeper understanding of his identity in Christ has shaped much of his ministry and teaching. Over the years, the biblical truths and revelations he believes God has shown him have helped encourage and transform the lives of many others.

His work includes numerous books, Bible studies, sermon outlines, and audiobooks centered on helping believers understand who they are in Christ. To learn more about Stephen’s journey, the revelations that have shaped his ministry, and to explore free samples of his resources, visit inchristcourse.ca.

Editor’s note: This article discusses profound grief and thoughts of death. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts or feeling in immediate danger should seek urgent help from local emergency services, a physician, a qualified mental-health professional, or a trusted person who can remain with them while assistance is secured.